I used to hate running when I was at primary school, when the teachers made me compete in the cross-country because I was good at it. I remember hating the feeling of my body being at the limits of my breath, but also hating loosing, so I would fight myself all the way to third place. Later, I hated my body after arriving back from a gap year in England where I had eaten English boarding school fare three times a day or more, and so I started running an hour at a time up and

Tuesday 28 th  October 2025 Sometimes you need to binge on something really satisfying. My latest binge has been reading The Rose Field  by Phillp Pullman (2025), his latest book, and the last in his trilogy - The Book of Dust. This world has been a welcome detour from the responsibilities of academic, community and personal life that fills my days, weeks, months with streams of to do's and should be's. Regardless of the fact that I have consciously inserted rest, creativity

Tuesday 21 October 2025 I'm hoping that the rhythms of my weeks and months can find some useful waves, some consistency of being, feeling, doing that will allow the research to unfold (be revealed and evolved) from the diverse spaces I inhabit as much as from the focus of an academic 'body'. It's been almost two months of official academic-ing, and somehow I feel like I've not landed. Alys just very kindly supported me to gain a cupboard and a concrete pou in the dance studio

October 14th, 2025 I heard an RNZ interview the other day with someone talking about the 'fad' of “Quadrobics” or “Quadrobers”, people who walk around on all fours, or do animal patterns as training. Apparently in Russia there is a proposal to create legislation to make it illegal, with fears it 'dehumanises' cultures and may lead to people taking on aspects of animals, such as biting people and other anti-social behaviour ( https://nz.news.yahoo.com/viral-trend-teenagers-dre

October 13th 2025 I'm at Adaption Futures in Ōtautahi Yesterday we sat in the engineering building for the Indigenous Workshop, listening to perspectives of things that are happening, that are not happening, our fears and struggles. We couldn't recycle the food containers. My body hurt from sitting, and so I lay down. A whānau member followed suit, saying that he'd been wanting to lie down for ages. (I am a consciously embodied resourcer of systems evolution). On arrival to t

October 9th, 2025 Today began with the usual breakfast palavers, but was pleasantly ended with a cancellation of an afternoon appointment. I realised that I do not have any whole days at home, and I'm feeling out of sorts because I cannot find a ground of being, a state of relaxedness in the week, facilitated by spacetime of nothingdoing. So... I spend an hour and a half cleaning and tidying.. As my Mother once said, “I'm an active relaxer”. Well, at least now I can see the r

October 8th 2025 Yesterday I spent half an hour upon waking, sitting, feeling and releasing my spine. Today I spent half an hour feeling torn between getting up and staying in bed, and twenty minutes lying down and feeling my spine. When the kids left I read some of The Woven Universe, Selected Writings by Māori Marsden , edited by his nephew Te Ahukaramu Charles Royal. Specifically, I read chapter one. Feeling into ihi, mana, tapu, mauri... Pure rites Wānanga and Tōhunga The

Tuesday 7 th  October A small practice in a small dance studio looking out to the space between 201 and the Māori and Pasifika studies spaces. The studio is dark when I enter. The mirrors are watching me. I swap the curtains over so the university is watching me now. I notice the large screen on one wall and figure out how to screen the videos I've made of Waipareira stumbles. I realise I'm tired and I need to digest the morning properly, so I lie in the middle of the space,